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Well we all must face facts that everyone is going to experience some form of
grief during their life time The grieving process may be of short duration or it can be much longer. Some are minor others more tragic. I believe that my major grief came from the loss of my childhood. This took me a long time to seem to work through however, on the other side it was just a part of me and I grew from it. I suppose I have learned much compassion for others simply because I have been through it and I know what it is like. Sometimes when you feel you have grieved the loss there is more grief to come so do not get upset if this process takes a while. My grieving over the loss of my alters is an on going process for me. Part of me feels they were real people and they were there to help me so having to get rid of them was painful itself. I am sure in your mind I must seem a little crazy. However today the grief is gone and only freedom I have so many ideas about denial simply because I did not want to admit to
the true reality in my life for many years. I wanted my family to be the one that loved my so very much but in reality they were my own enemies. I think I spent my growing up years believing they my family loved me so much when in reality they did not know how to be good parents.I lived in denial and even created a special fantasy alter named Sugar Plum to help me survive during those years. The most important thing I lost was my childhood free from fun and play. Oh, it is true I had fun sometimes however, most of the time I lived in anxiety and fear
and something I did not even know anything about at that time and that was shame. I lost my right to be innocent in this crazy world. The overall feeling of disgust and feeling dirty. Then having no one there to talk to and that understood and who would protect me. This is why I started created others, compartmentalized selves who I was not aware of in my conscious mind. I actually lived in my own world without knowing it. As you will see we are going to discuss many subjects of interest but would like to direct you to my blogs on page three. Here you will learn about my journey of integration from having 57 personalities. So, I hope you enjoy your own journey and hopefully I can be of service in the future!
No.1 We must have friends! I think that it is so important to have friends. Some people you can be very close to and share your every sorrow and triumph, while others you only know at the surface.A friend will be there for you no matter what. While going through the process of integration I came to feel that my alters became my friends simply because they were willing to give up their control and identity for the better sake of the core alter being Tamara and Charlotte. In their minds it was like them being willing to give up their lives for the core Alter. I cannot think of a better to show your friendship! It is true that we as human beings do not like to feel sorrow. We will do almost
anything not to feel. However, I have learned how beneficial it is to feel sorrow over things in our lives. My alters taught me that when you feel your pain thoroughly and come out on the other side of it you not only are stronger but also you have more happiness. I have found through my journey of self discovery that I am a valuable person and before my journey started I felt I had no value. It is not always easy to go through the sorrow but it is so much brighter on the other side how could anyone want more! |
AuthorI am open to those who are curious and want to learn. Archives
November 2019
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