I used to think that life would just go on and on and never change but this was before I became conscious of my other alters. Before that time in 1998 things were just one problem after another and I thought that was just the way life was supposed to be. You can say I had a real eye opening when I began realizing I had created 57 alters to help me cope with severe abuse and trauma that started a the age of one year into adulthood.
This was the first time in my life that all I could focus on was myself. My children were grown and gone and I had not been married for several years. Life circumstances told me I needed extra help because my demons were not gone. I do not believe that it was demons it was just that I had many other things in my history I needed to address. This came to me as a shock but in looking back in my childhood that I remembered everything made so much sense.
I do remember that in childhood my family said that I was a very moody child, looking in retrospect those moods were my different alters. I had married a man that had more history then me and so this was great because now I could focus on him and not have to worry about my history. Now you can see why that marriage did not work. Now you can understand my own denial. I do not blame him for the demise of our marriage because it was both of us together. We lasted 23 years. I am so grateful I am on my own
As soon as I started working with a good therapist about my alters things started to change. The greatest thing at this point in mylife was the fact I finally saw things in a very new way.We will talk again soon.
My senses are awakened when I am by the ocean.