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My question to you is, Would you be willing to go through periods of severe emotional and mental pain for many years in order to get to the state of integration? Or would you opt to stay in the statuesque because of fears? I used to think that I did not want to kill off my other alters because to me they were real people. Over time my feelings began to change simply because I felt like I was in this crazy whirlpool and it was going down and I wanted to go the other way! This is when my life changed.