I think of all the alters I had created and it seems so strange to me because I am so together.I see myself as one who will always aspire to better and I can and will do ii on my own as one complete human being. Life is so much different and my new platform in life for the presenting of my Memoir is the act of Dissociation.
One thing I am reiterating for those who have visited my website is the fact that I have spoken about Dissociation and the fact that w all do it because there are different levels of dissociation from the fact that we all day dream, which is the mildest form of dissociation to the most severe it being Dissociative Identity Disorder. No one can deny the fact that many of us in life daydream which of course is the mildest form of dissociation. My Platform is the ability to dissociate. The more I am able to talk about this with others individually and also in groups then others will realize this is a true fact. What do you see for your future tell me what you feel and think!
I never realized why therapists would always tell me to write my feelings down no matter what they were. For quite a long time I did not listen to them because it did not seem as if it would help. I suppose that when I finally realized that my writing of my book could help someone else, did it become important to me to start writing. However, I must admit the writing I did helped me and the other alters to come to certain terms. My writings has helped me to process things in a different manner then the therapy.
The second group to work on the integration was my teenage ones. Because they were teenagers that means they were only helpful in my own teen age years of growing. There was many things I did not feel I could do because by the age of twelve I was 172 pounds and only four foot and ten inches tall. Several alters were created because of this reason. I was very insecure about my weight and knew I needed others help at that time. Again I did not have anyone to go to and talk about my problems so I did what I always did and that was to compartmentalize and create others to take over in this traumatic time in my life. While going through therapy I came to realize it was myself that was doing all the physical activities and at first it was very hard to believe. With time and gaining my self esteem I was able to have the teenage alters think about integration. They finally all agreed that they could help me more by integration.
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