Copyright © 2015
I have asked myself this question many times and I come up with the same answer. How can a baby even comprehend what is happening to her when she is so young. She cannot so somewhere in her creative mind she has someone to take over the severe trauma while during the day time someone else can function that has no recollection of what happened.
I remember when I was old enough to complain but I did not know how to verbalize what was going on because of my little mind of two years of age cannot comprehend such things.I knew I hgad to go stay with my grandparents for a second time because my mother was very sick for over a year. I screamed and cried, so how would anyone not know what that meant. It seemed as though it did not make any difference to my parents.So, I was off as a sacrificial lamb for the slaughter.This is how I felt when going through the flashbacks and turmoil from my so called lovely visit with my grandparents on my mother's side.
It made no sense to me at that age why they had to put me in the basement to sleep. It was so cold with only cement walls and no rooms. I slept by the washer and dryer out in the middle of such cold surroundings.
I to this day remember this large figure coming down the stair case into the basement and y mind went out of control because he had done it before and here he was again.I can smell his alcoholic breath and he is laying over my little body and then I am gone. I am sitting on the top of the stair it was not me that it was happening to but someone else.I did not have to swallow the semen pushed down this tiny throat I can hear the buckle being undone so he can use me with his anally raping job he did.
During the day hours he would buy me candy and tell me he loved me and my grandmother would bake me apple pie. I know she knew because of her strange laughter when talking about my loving her apple pie!
You tell me how my parents did not know something was wrong! I question that but I must go on and I have been able to forgive them and that is all I came about!