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After you have made a good relationship with your alters and they have had the time to grieve and work through all the pain then you will be at the real integration level. For myself I worked with my eight little ones to get communication and trust and then after I did that they were able to share their grief with my therapist.
This was a very valuable and pivotal time for us! My next decision was to get all eight of the little ones to circle a large tree trunk while holding hands. I chose a tree because my name means strong and stalwart tree. All my little ones of course had to be in agreement with this ritual.They made the decision to integrate into myself with this ritual for the betterment of myself. Through this integration I being one of the core alters became a stronger person and this was true progress.