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One thing that is difficult for me to do is to wait on someone else to do what they say they are going to do. Especially when it comes to me business and selling my book and paying my bills. You know those terrible things we get every month. I think this state has got to be the most laid back state I have ever lived in. I could have had so much accomplished if things went the way I think they should go. Anyway that is enough of my complaining. I am up at an ungodly hour because I cannot sleep and so here I am reaching out into cyber land.I hope you have felt the same way I have felt and so they understand.
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This is the week that I will be interviewed about my book and how I got my Memoir published. He will video me and then take it back to the station and edit it. When it is being aired I will let you know. The TV program is ctn5.org.and it airs around fifteen cities around Portland Maine. The channel will be 5.2 for this area. After it has aired you can go to google ctn5.org and the title of the interview which is "nuts and bolts" and then Shattered to the Core and you can see it on the internet.
There video will be viewed by over 600,000 people. I think that is pretty good coverage. I want to get the word out that this diagnosis needs to be caught a lot sooner then it took for me and I am sure so many other people. Someone needs to take this seriously. Growing up as a child in a very dysfunctional family I tried so many times to tell others in my family that something bad was going on but I was always scolded and called a liar. All I wanted was for somebody to listen to me and believe me and what I say. I grew up not ever having a voice and I learned to compartmentalize so much trauma. No child deserves to be treated this way and I did not deserve to be treated this way.
I grew up just trying to survive and this is truly no way to live. I never seemed to be a mature person even as an adult in many ways. I was so emotionally and psychologically and sexually abused I had not been able to mature the way that you should mature. I always thought that I would be dead in my early twenties. But as you can see I am still here and I finally feel like I have a voice because of this TV program and those who listen may see that they can have their own voice too. This is a wonderful goal to have. This is a wonderful gift to me! I will be adding two more presentations of speeches to my reflections in the near future. One will be about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the other Battered women syndrome. Since I have been a victim of these two topics and have recovered I think it is valuable to know about these from a personal stand point. They will have my own personal story plus figures and studies relevant to these studies. I am very concerned for the amount of abuse that does on each minute of every day and to delve into such things is always very valuable.
Since I am no longer a victim of either of these conditions I think it is very healthy of me to be able to speak about these topics in retrospect. Educating people is very important and so I must do my best to have my voice heard in every possible venue. Healing from something ads devastating as these makes it imperative to use my voice in whatever capacity I can. This is my goal. I have been doing some research of my own and I have realized that out of the known population in the USA over 811.000 people have this diagnosis. That is with the estimation of 4%. Some studies have said for the USA there is estimated at 10% which is over 3,000,000 for the year of 2016 with the total population being over 324,000,000. If this is the case there is a great need for being able to diagnosis this sooner then a ten year period. I lost ten years of my life because they could not diagnose me for that long.
I was first diagnosed with Bi-Polar and put on five different medications and ended up having a mini-stroke.I tried to tell the psychiatrist that I was not bi-Polar. When he would not listen to me I decided to safely ween myself off all my medications except for the antidepressant. Another psychiatrist diagnosed me with skitz0phrenia. I stopped going to him immediately. All this time I was living on disability so you can just imagine all the thousands of dollars that the state spent for all my visits and medication for a ten year period. Then you consider that many others with this diagnosis are going through the same financial problems. If diagnosed in a relatively short time look at all the money that the government would save. It would be in the upper millions. The media needs to know about this. Here I am up at this late hour and I cannot sleep. So I am sitting here hoping someone is out there so maybe they can understand my dilemma. My mind seems to be on non stop. There are so many things I have in the fire so to speak that my mind will not shut off.
I cannot seem to get anything finished because of others not getting back to me. I have known this for a long time that the state of Maine is very laid back and time does not seem to matter to them. I came from a very busy city and had no time to wait so it has been very hard to learn the ways of this state. Oh I know I seem to be complaining but I am really not. I have just tried to be patient about things but it has been difficult for me. Anyway things could be a great deal worse so it will be okay. I just need to find things I can do while I am waiting. I have started working with create space to get my Memoir printed and when it gets completed you will be the first to know. Then I will be able to get some book signings at some book stores. I have had to redo the file three times. I thought it would be easier then this but I like challenges. I will doing my TV program the third week of October. Then I will be meeting the professor that wants me to speak to his psychology class about Dissociative Identity Disorder.
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AuthorI am open to those who are curious and want to learn. Archives
February 2019
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