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Well I have been in the process of writing a speech for the TV program. It may not seem too much but I have to speak for at least twenty six minutes. I know I have a big mouth but this is going to be a test for me and I think this is just what I need. I love new challenges and I do love public speaking.
My concern is that I get across my loss of ten of my years of life simply because no one would believe my diagnosis and much time was wasted in going to Doctors and psychiatrist and try to tell them I have this diagnosis and no one wants to believe you. That is why I came to the decision of writing my Memoir and it was the best thing I could have ever done even though it was truly difficult at times. It was also cathartic. My desire is to tell people in society that this is a very true diagnosis and if not taken care of it can keep the person with this diagnosis to keep being abused. That in itself makes me feel so horrible because no one deserves this. I will make sure this is brought out nd maybe someone will finally see the importance of looking into this diagnosis.
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I am so excited because I have a chance to be a guest on a community TV show in Portland Maine in September. I have to be able to speak for about twenty five minutes. I will be appearing with a professional that knows about Dissociative Identity Disorder and this will be great. The audience is around 70,000 views in the surrounding area of Portland. This will be my chance to tell me about my trials in coping with it taking me ten years of my life trying to get a diagnosis even when I had told them that I had this disorder. As I have said before when I lived on the west coast I was diagnosed with this right off.
I am referring to a study I read about the fact that there is more people with this disorder then there are schizophrenia but yet there is so very much more paid out in working with this diagnosis from charity and Government facilities. I find myself getting annoyed at this fact. I am so tired of people making fun of this disorder with the people who have it. I have reiterated before that we have a great deal of creativity and intelligence and I know this to be a fact. Society needs to know this stuff. officials need to be attuned to the seriousness of this diagnosis if not taken care of. This can cause the person to be abused over and over and it is a vicious horrible cycle. I have been told by several therapists that my Memoir would be very beneficial for therapist to read and use even though every person with this disorder has their own Multiple family of alters. So my question for you is "What do you think of the Politics in this country?" I am not one who is interested in Politics simply because I am aware that people are imperfect so therefore anyone who wants to serve as President is not going to be able to solve the problems in this system. The system is so corrupt and the people are so corrupt there will be nothing of value they can do to help others who truly suffer.
I believe only Almighty God can be the one to solve the problems that face mankind. This is the kingdom that Jesus taught his followers to pray for that Kingdom to come and his will to be done on earth as it is heaven. If you look up Daniel chapter 2:44 you will see what that kingdom is going to do and what it will bring to mankind. Hi out there, it is two a.m. over here in Maine and I cannot sleep again. I have an opportunity to do a TV program. It will be viewed on educational TV. I will have with me a professional Doctor that knows about Multiple Personality to back me so I am looking forward to this. It will be some time in September I will let you all know before the right time.
I just need to get some visibility for my book and the diagnosis. I am excited about this. I think it will be a great success. I love feeling positive about my life it keeps me centered and this is a good thing. Today is going to be a great day and I can feel it inside so I know it is true. When something goes wrong do not let it get to you so much that it can ruin the rest of your day and sometimes even your week. Do not let negativity come crouching at your door. I try to view each day with a smile and a prayer of thanks for another day of life. No matter what goes on during that day I continue to be thankful that I am alive and enjoying what I am doing. Even in the face of tragedy I still cn be thankful for the day. We all have to deal with some form of tragedy and if we can hold our heads up and gives thanks for being alive during this time you will be a better person. Here I am up again at one in the morning. This is just one of those times that I cannot sleep. Life is great if you do not weaken, ha! ha! I am in a great mood right now and hopefully someone else out there in cyber-land is listening.
I thought I would spend some time talking about something that is near and dear to my heart. Forgiveness. First of all no one is perfect and if we all understood this that would be wonderful. Some people out there seem pretty arrogant if they have a great deal of money or possessions but I have learned in life that material things do not give me any type of happiness.So, what I say to those who may be arrogant I forgive you because you are not aware of real happiness. It is like a fading dream that will never come true. I do understand why some feel like that. But please let me explain that I do not mean that this is true of every rich person because that is not the case. I do not want you to think I go around judging those who have more materially then myself. So, you say understand and forgive me if I sound judgmental because I am really not that way. The true forgiveness I am talking about is such as the ones when someone has hurt you over and over and it is very traumatic, such as when my family members sexually abused me. That type of forgiveness takes more time to get to the forgiving stage but I honestly have forgiven them. However, one thing I must admit since I suffer from complex PTSD so I will continue to have flashbacks for the rest of my life and sometimes I find myself getting angry at them again because I have to continually deal with it. But deep down in my heart I do forgive them and if any of them were still alive I would tell them that even when they re in denial. But that does mean I would associate with them but my health and peace of mind. Look here today is a miracle because I am posting three days in a row. And guess what I have promised myself to post each day this month. If I can keep that up I will try to carry on from there. I am a little bitty woman who would love to hear what you may like about my blog. So I am laying it on the line and please take just a few moments to tell me what you would like to her about or to change. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Hew world, what are you up to today? it is Tuesday and this was my father's birthday but he has been dead since I was fifteen years old. He was only forty two years of age. I am not sad because he will be resurrected to the earth and be able to live forever on it in perfect health and peace. I do so look forward to that time. I thought if any of you love to read the Bible then you might look up Psalms 37 and read that whole chapter because there you will see that the righteous will inherit the earth and the earth will abide forever. What a wonderful time that will be. Have you decided that today is going to be a wonderful time to continue to work on your goals and please take time to enjoy something that will give you some peace in your heart! Well can you actually believe this one? I am actually posting two days in a row. Hurray for me! It is early morning and I have been up for a while. It is one those sleepless nights. I have those sometimes. Anyway I do love Mondays and this is why I am here just to let you all know that it is the beginning of a new month and new week and this is enough to charge us up and take notice.
So, what are you going to do this day? I think that I am going to keep heading toward my goal of talking to psychology classes. So tell me what you are going to do whether it is just carrying on with whatever you have already started or setting another goal for yourself. At any cost this is the time for action and you can do anything you set your mind on. One thing that I try to do when I have accomplished setting a goal is that I praise myself and I celebrate in some way. As for me I cannot use a great deal of money so I just do something inspiring and mine would be to take a walk on the beach and contemplate the vastness of the ocean and how small I feel when I am standing there at the waters edge. Oh then of course I thank my great Creator for being my friend. I used to think I could never be one of Almighty God's friends but now I know I can and it give me much peace and solace. Take time to be thankful today! |
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February 2019
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